Thursday, September 27, 2012

Three things I am trying to teach Avery

Being a woman these days ain’t easy.  I remember when they came out with size zero clothing.  I couldn’t believe it.  My first thought was, “Do they want us to disappear?”.  In about the third grade I probably could have worn a zero.  Once puberty started the curves appeared along with the awkward stages.  Spending hours working on my bangs in the morning was the norm along with trying to apply make- up and pinch rolling my jeans.  Ahhh … the joys of adolescence!

Avery is starting her preteen phase.  What an exciting time in life for  both of us.  I remember the other day the two of us laughing at a joke with a nuance that a “kid” would not understand. There was a leap in my heart as I realized that my little girl is growing up. 
With this in mind I sat down to think about what I would like to communicate to her by word and example and these are three of the many things I want her to know and understand.  Honestly, it has taken me 37 years to understand a couple of these. 

True Friends / your future spouse should be in your life to motivate and inspire you.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there are seasons in every relationship.  There are times when you are the giver and times when you are the taker but for the most part the underlying themes of any relationship should be love and growth.  If these two things are not present, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
These are a couple of my friends (and sister) who motive and inspire me.
We were on a a ski trip to Crested Butte, CO 2011.    

Be okay / accept the awkward phases.  This is a tough one.  Think - braces, pimples and hair dye.  I had braces as an adult, still fighting acne and just had the grey in my hair colored.  No one wants to be in transition.  As a woman today, your “value” is often tied to your appearance.  This is not right or fair but true.  The way I look today is the result of countless awkward stages.  In fact, I may be in the middle of one right now.  I'm attempting to incorporate more color in my wardrobe and I'm not sure it's working out for me.

Curves are a good thing.  I’m not talking about the exercise franchise, I am talking about the softness of a woman both physically and emotionally.  These are the characteristics that make us women.  It was about a year ago that I realized that being stick / model thin is kinda gross.  Who wants to snuggle up to a skeleton?  It was the actress Christina Hendricks on the show Mad Men that helped me to understand that beauty is often more shapely than angular.   We need to embrace these features instead of always trying to be thinner. 

All that said - what I want to communicate to her most, is that no matter what I am ALWAYS your biggest fan!